1.I think part of a Best Friend's Job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. There is great need for a Sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
7. Mapquest really needs to start their directions on # 7, I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least Kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories...
11. You never know when it will strike but there comes a moment at work when you realize that you're not going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when i exit out of word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10 page research paper that I swear I didn't make any changes to.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (hello, hello Damn it!) but when I immediately call back it rings 9 times then goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving the house confident and looking good, and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
18. my 4 year old son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja" How the hell do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well...
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers, I would bet that on any given Friday, or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Lights than Kay.
Especially for that guy in the background